In college, my best friend and I came across a mug in the gift shop. It was some crappily drawn smiley face plastered on a white mug with the school’s logo under it. We were both having a very cynical year towards the school and we just felt it exemplified the whole situation. A $15 mug that looked like a 4-year old had drawn it. A $100k education at a tiny, unknown, private college.
I bought that damn mug. I had to. Apparently I needed a daily reminder of the absurdity of being surrounded by a blind, mindless optimism.
I’m a cynical person. Those of you who know me might think that’s an understatement. But I don’t want to be. I’m ready to train my brain to a different way of thinking.
I got rid of that mug recently. Over 10 years later. Let someone else feel the cynicism pouring out of it. I was done with that reminder.
Today is day one of training my brain to a positive way of thinking. Starting today, I’ll be journaling three things per day that I’m grateful for and one positive experience. I might be grateful for the end of the day, or the boy going to sleep early. I might repeat things. I might recount a past positive experience rather than something that happened that day. Who knows. I’m keeping the rules as loose as possible so that I have fewer excuses not to do it. Because I’m ready for a change.
Today I am grateful for my son’s patience. He seems to have been gifted with all the patience that I lack. I’m thankful for fluctuating prices, especially when it means I get something for less than I’ve budgeted. And I’m thankful that it’s Friday, because I have more to get done than can be fit in on a weekday.
Today’s positive experience was a short, sweet one. M took the boy out this afternoon to run a quick errand. He (the boy) came back with a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar in his hand. He gave me the biggest, sweetest, shit eating grin when he handed it to me. A two-year old who likes to pick out things like chocolates and flowers for his momma – be still my heart.