It’s a Very Good Place to Start

In college, my best friend and I came across a mug in the gift shop.  It was some crappily drawn smiley face plastered on a white mug with the school’s logo under it.  We were both having a very cynical year towards the school and we just felt it exemplified the whole situation.  A $15 mug that looked like a 4-year old had drawn it.  A $100k education at a tiny, unknown, private college.

I bought that damn mug.  I had to.  Apparently I needed a daily reminder of the absurdity of being surrounded by a blind, mindless optimism.

I’m a cynical person.  Those of you who know me might think that’s an understatement.  But I don’t want to be.  I’m ready to train my brain to a different way of thinking.

I got rid of that mug recently.  Over 10 years later.  Let someone else feel the cynicism pouring out of it.  I was done with that reminder.

Today is day one of training my brain to a positive way of thinking.  Starting today, I’ll be journaling three things per day that I’m grateful for and one positive experience.  I might be grateful for the end of the day, or the boy going to sleep early.  I might repeat things.  I might recount a past positive experience rather than something that happened that day.  Who knows.  I’m keeping the rules as loose as possible so that I have fewer excuses not to do it. Because I’m ready for a change.

Today I am grateful for my son’s patience.  He seems to have been gifted with all the patience that I lack.  I’m thankful for fluctuating prices, especially when it means I get something for less than I’ve budgeted.  And I’m thankful that it’s Friday, because I have more to get done than can be fit in on a weekday.

Today’s positive experience was a short, sweet one.  M took the boy out this afternoon to run a quick errand.  He (the boy) came back with a Cadbury Fruit and Nut bar in his hand.  He gave me the biggest, sweetest, shit eating grin when he handed it to me.  A two-year old who likes to pick out things like chocolates and flowers for his momma – be still my heart.

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